Dear women who apply make up in public

Dear Women Who Apply Makeup On Public Transport,
Can we talk for a minute? Seriously. I don’t want to insult you or make you feel badly (really, I don’t) but I have to get this off my chest. I don’t believe it’s truly necessary for you to apply a full face of makeup here – on the train, or the bus or tram – heck, even the ferry.
My feeling is that with a slight rejigging of your schedule, which I’ve no doubt is ridiculously hectic – I mean whose isn’t these days – that you could find the five to 10 minutes you need to apply truly flattering, perfectly pretty makeup.
And I wish you would.
Not because it offends me to see you hard at work transforming yourself but because I fear that you’re missing the point. And that is that makeup is a joy. Or at least it should be. But I do not believe it can be if you’re applying it while hurtling through the suburbs on the public transport of your choice.
Public transport, with its over-crowding and enforced intimacy is not an appropriate setting for blending your blush. Nor lining the inner rim of your eyes. Or blotting your lipstick. All of these are acts that should take place somewhere with a flattering soft light, a sense of calm and on a purely practical note, a kick-ass mirror.
For starters you’d get better results – no doubt. Also, you could move your arms freely, stretch and wriggle with abandon, stop and start and admire your results as you progressed. And you needn’t feel the slightest bit self conscious or awkward. And this, I believe, is what you’re missing if you’re doing your makeup in the midst of carriage 303. Pleasure. Like I said earlier, I believe that’s what makeup is all about.
Yes, the idea behind it is that it will make you look more beautiful, but more importantly, cleverly-applied makeup will makeup will make you feel more beautiful. It’s not meant to be something you have to do before you go out into the world, drop your kids at school, hit the office and so on. It’s not meant to make you more acceptable or appropriate – bare skinned you is just perfect.
No, in my book, makeup (think a light foundation that gives a dewy finish, blush that provides a flattering ‘I just strolled through the countryside’ vibe, a lovely rosy lip), is about boosting your mood. It’s about looking into your eyes in a mirror (a full-sized one – not the flip top of an eyeshadow palette) and recognising the beauty there. It’s about performing a ritual of sorts, one that sees you treating yourself with a little love and kindness. It’s about taking one last look and admiring what you see, allowing yourself to feel good about who you are and your place in the world.
Yes, it’s only makeup. But if you apply it in the right way, which is with some quiet care and a whole lot of self love, it has the capacity to start your day on a positive note. And if you ask me that simply cannot happen on the city express.

Love,

The Beauty Insider.

PS: If you absolutely must do your makeup on public transport here’s a tip or two to make the experience that little bit easier – for you and the rest of us.

Consider tinting your lashes or even having lash extensions applied. That way you can skip the mascara at the very least.

An oversized crayon style lipstick will be considerably easier to apply than a traditional lipstick. We like Clinique Chubby Stick Moisturising Lip Colour Balm, $36. Don’t even think about a lip pencil and brush-style application. It’s tricky for you and unbearable for the rest of us. Consider a BB or CC cream that you can apply with your fingers and no that it will still terrific. No mirror required! Try Dr Brandt Flexitone BB Cream, $57. 

Yes people will watch everything you do and analyse every product you use. This seems an excellent reason to toss those old broken eyeshadows and skanky powder blushes and invest in something impressive. Yes. We are judging you. Absolutely.

At the very least try and apply your foundation at home in front of a decent mirror and beneath good light. It’s almost impossible to get it right on the bus, train, tram or ferry.

Don’t get nasty if we stare at you while you work. You’re putting on a show and we’re your audience. If you don’t like that you know what to do. Yep, keep it at home.